Someone to follow me into the Dark

I guess that you could say that I am having a hard time. I got what I wanted and that was to be alone. But then being alone was much better than being stuck with someone that you still felt like you were alone with.  Perhaps I belived Disney when he altered his fairy tales to always have a happy ending. Or perhaps just the idea that there might be someone out there that could make me just tremble all over by just the thought of them. It breaks my heart even more knowing that I have never felt that. I know people say, "oh, my husband doesnt make me feel like that everyday!"  Your always laughing at me. But what happens when he has to go away? What happens when you are alone. Who is there to hold you? Have you taken advantage of him? Taken the advantage that he will always be there? This can go vice versa for those "men" who read my blogs. Do we take avantage of out lovers and act like they will always be there? Those of us that sleep or slept next to a warm body that did not know how to love is even left wth the feeling that they should have snuggled a little closer when they had the chance. What I would give just for a warm touch right now. No, not sex, just the presence of someone who actually wants me to sit next to them, hold my hand, kiss me and let me know that they are not going to let me fade away. Knowing that they will follow me into the dark. Is that really so much to ask?

Knowing I would not follow my own former husband into the dark becuase he could not promise me that he would do the same. I walked away. Is there not someone who would challenge me? I know I could do it. The only proof I need is that you love me. That even if you dont make me tremble to my toes everyday that it wouldnt take much to make me. Someone to love me. Someone to follow me into the dark.