Banana Pudding...

It has been a long time. I am glad to see that you are all here still. My goal with this new blog was to talk about some really good things that are going on in my life. I have has some really good days and some really nightmare type of days. I try not to write when I know that I will be down. I was ready to write until I unblocked someone on FB. I then got a swarm of emails about how bad of a person I was and how horrible a mother I will be if I ever can find a man that wants to give me a child. This is from my ex husbands family. (considered family?) That just adds to the whole idea that I now know that my ex husbands dad was the one telling everyone the reason we were getting a divorce was because I am a swinger and did not want to just be with my husband the rest of my life. Some father in law...But then again he still trys to beat his kids in their mid 20's. Guess you do what you know you can get away with. Especially in his case. But then again how is his son much different from him? He leaves me stranded at work half past midnight and then says that it is my fault because I dont have a phone. (I do now) Good thing my brother was around to take me home. That is one good thing about all of this is that we have been working on our relationship. It makes things better for me. Because where I was led astray I have taken back control of.  I am half way to where I want to be. I still need a few things to be on my own again. In which I have not been in years. I know it sounds like I should be counting decades. I am still young but I know that what I need right now i,s in fact, me time. I need to get back to where I wanted to be. I was in a spot of "softness" I like to call it when I married. It is almost like banana pudding I love the hell out of it, but it gives me heartburn from hell. I feel like I have been swimming in stomach acid ever sense. I picture this in my head and my face is half melting off... I know that it is not as bad as some cases might be. I am glad that I chose to stop it before my face totally fell off. I know that in my own mind as soon as things began to change I tried to find ways to make it work. But when someone only wants to do what they want to do and forget that there is more than one person in the relationship its hard to fix things. I have to move on. It is the best thing to do. I will be happy. This is just a short update blog is all. All smeared into one. I passed the first part of training and on the second half. I feel really good about it.