Horrible People

So this blog might hurt someone’s feelings but I hope that people can stay adults.

I am so incredibly hurt right now. Yea, yea you apologized, but that does not change what was said to them. No one is perfect and no one is completely happy. Maybe I am down A LOT but I also have the mind that others might be too. I guess the whole disappoint in what happened was not how things went down. It was what was said.

NO ONE ever has the right to tell someone how horrible they are. I know because I have been told how horrible I am. No I am not trying too being up the past. I just know how hard it is to overcome someone telling you how bad you are. I don’t think that anyone has any right to say anything to anyone about how horrible they are as a person. Whether it is morals or ethics. There is not one thing that you can say to someone else that you won’t also find in yourself. I know because I have been on that side of things too. No, I am not a know it all. I also don’t know everything either.  But I know this. I also know that when I look in the mirror every day I find those faults again and again and I have to say “I am not that person anymore.” That is what I say but the last few days have challenged me to become that person again. I have never been so mad in my life and I have never fought so hard in my life not to reach out and untie the part of me. Please never accuse me of abusing you when I haven’t even begun to start any kind of abuse. My friends and family can tell you that I can take the world and smash it around you if it is called for. I am not saying I am great but I am pushed enough I can become that person again. I hate the fact that I can still reach out and find that part of me again and I guess that I always will be able too. But when you tell someone off, give it some tact and maybe use some big words or something don’t belittle yourself with the wrong use of words and even some wrong information. No one ever knows what goes on behind closed doors and NO ONE belongs in other people’s business. Someone might use you as a leaning post and I hope that you use that information to help that person, and not use it because you just couldn’t help yourself and could only know half the information. But that is really not the case is it. It’s that face that no one is ever meant to hear how horrible they are. Perhaps they are already knocked down, down and out or dealing with something that no one even knows about yet. Not everyone tells their secrets to just anyone and everyone.  

At this point I am made to look like that bad guy to all and you have made yourself the victim. That is okay with me in the long run. I at least know I had the self-control to no be that person anymore. I know that I won that challenge even if you don’t know it or even know who that person used to be. I do and I won that battle. I hope that I never have to be tempted to be that person anymore. Maybe that might make me a bit of a push over, but I would rather be a push over than the raving crazy bitch I used to be. Even though I am told that I still might be… just a little bit.